desperado8975

So a lot has happened since I last updated, but I can only speak on a few pieces.
I'm going to the desert in September for 4 months. I don't know what I'll be doing yet, but I'm not really worried about it. Work has been absolute murder on me this past week... I put in probably 65-70 hours. Next week will be the same. I have so many appointments that are all day. That's really it... I haven't done anything extremely exciting outside of work... just hanging out with 1 or 2 friends for the most part. I don't think anything else worth mentioning is happening down here.

<32u

Thanks to everyone for their support over the weekend. I truly appreciate it.
My mom has worked through her most recent episode and was much more coherent when I spoke to her yesterday.
My sister was in town this past weekend, and that was a good time. We just kinda kicked back saturday and sunday. Sunday night, however, Richy had a bit too much to drink. I was pretty shit-faced. I had probably the worst hangover ever all day Monday. It was a thumping good time though. My sister made it home alright, and I managed to eat some food, so good things all around. Today it's back to the grind for me, and hopefully won't be too painful.
That's all I've got from this weekend... I think I'll try to post in here a bit more from now on.

I have to get this out somewhere.

Ok, so this is what's happening this summer. My old first sergeant just came to me the other day and asked a huge favor of me. He's going to some course in Montgomery, AL for 3 months, and taking a vacation beforehand. He's also possibly deploying in August. He asked me if I would housesit for him while he was gone, and since the man has been just an exemplary person to me at all times, I jumped at the opportunity to return the favor. This bodes well for me financially, but at the same time, it looks like I will be unable to make a trip to Indiana this summer, and possibly the rest of this year. I apologize profusely to anyone I wanted to make plans with, and was going to great lengths to do stuff for me. I would've declined if if was any other person in this city. That being said, we move to the other shitty part of my day (excluding the fact that I worked 13 hours today).

I called my mother to explain this news to her, as I knew it would hit her the hardest. I was going through it as delicately as possible, and taking my time, when I realized she hadn't said anything in about a minute. I figured it was a reception problem, but it turns out she just fell asleep. This by itself is not a big deal, but I called her back and finally got a hold of her. She explained she had been suffering from a UTI (urinary tract infection). That by itself would not be so bad. The way she told me just sounded like she was defeated. There could've been a myriad of symptoms that caused her to sound like that... she might have just been tired. The point is it finally hit me that my mother will not recover from this. Maybe she will get over this particular bout, but her health is steadily deteriorating. Her body won't be able to keep fighting these infections over and over again. I don't know why it hit me so hard, other than the fact that I just wasn't prepared to hear her sound like she wanted to give up. Maybe I just came to the reality that she will just get worse until she can't hang on anymore... I wasn't ready to deal with that after today. I understand it, and I don't live in any false reality about it, but I just couldn't accept it after my entire day. It's been a rough day, and I wish I could just fall asleep and get past this, but this has blindsided me harder than I thought. It's times like these I wish I had someone I could go to (in person) and just sit down and talk it out. I have good friends, but I don't know anyone I would readily go to about this... because I'm not handling this like I've handled other shit in my life. I'm going to attempt to cope with this tonight, and see how tomorrow works out. I know I'll make it through this. I don't need to talk to anyone to know that you all care (everyone that I know of that reads this), and it gives me strength. I'm going to shut up now, and try to sleep.

Ok, so I decided to update, but I've been drinking a bit, so I'll take no respsonsibility for whatever is said...

I actually have all kinds of news for a change, but where to begin...
So I've talked to you about the prospect of getting laser eye surgery in the past. Well, I went in for my initial evaluation, and everything checked out perfectly. I got the procedure done on Monday, March 28. It was about a 3 minute procedure, and probably the most thoroughly uncomfortable ordeal I've ever been through. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it again anyday and I felt no pain... it was just weird to have my eyes messed with so much... I also have extremely sensitive eyes though. I got about 5 different types of eye drops to use multiple time daily, and being that I've never used eye drops before, it was new, but eventually easily done. The worst thing I was worried about was pain. I had read in my research that young males experience the most pain during recovery (I've received a number of possible explanations from friends and family members explaining that young men don't know what pain is). Anywho, I haven't had a bit of pain thus far. I am in day 5 right now, and feeling excellent. Yesterday at my checkup, I read the 20/20 line on the chart for the first time in my life without glasses. It's amazing! It doesn't really feel that different except when I'm getting in the shower or laying down to go to sleep... I'll try to take my glasses off but there aren't any there. The doctor told me my vision should eventually clear up to 20/15 or 20/10. It's so nice to not have that crutch anymore. It was really that inconvenient, but ya know, one less thing to worry about.

Now on to the other news. I know I've explained to some of you about my BTZ promotion package. What it is essentially is a 6 month early promotion to Senior Airman, which means more pay, earlier testing for Staff Sergeant, and basically lets me know I'm doing the kind of job I feel like I'm doing. Well, there are certain levels at which this award package can compete, and it's based on how many people are considered in a certain grouping. There weren't very many people considered at the lower levels, and I found out my package had gone up to base level (there are about 25,000 people on base). I was very supportive of my package, and would've taken the results anyway they came out because I felt my package represented the work ethic I've strived to maintain for the last two years. Well, I was at my surgery waiting for them to call me in when my commander (who had gotten the same procedure a few days earlier) came up to me and pulled me out of the room to congratulate me on being selected as a BTZ promotee. I was insanely happy. It's what I've been working so hard for these past 18 months for, and I was just so happy that it didn't turn out to be as politically oriented as I assumed. I will be putting my new rank on May 26, and that means I'll be making more money (which is the best part ;)).

Really, that's all I have, but those are major events for me. Everything is just going swimmingly right now, and I'll keep working at it as hard as ever. Also, I'm looking into getting a new car, and if I do, that's how I'll be coming back to Indiana to visit in June. As soon as my vision becomes a little more consistent, I will be working the process as quickly as possible. That's all for now...

(1) The singular boring question: Richard Blake Burkhard
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
I don't know
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you? Maybe middle name, but that's it
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you trade with? Um... I dunno
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? I dunno
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? No

DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? Yes
(8) Do you think God has a gender? No
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion? I think science only confirms religion
(10) Do you believe in organized religion? No, organized religion is ridiculous
(11) Where do you think we go when we die? Underground
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section? No

HUMOR
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh? Depends on my mood
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most? Bobo
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? If i shouldn't laugh, then I don't... I laugh at what's funny
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? What exactly is a joke you shouldn't tell?
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? ...
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? I'm not funny.


MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching? Who doesn't
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? A lot of punk, and modern R&B
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? Uhh..dunno
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head? Whatever I listen to
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? Sugar, do do do do do do, Awww, Honey honey!
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she uses? Obviously the same song I'd use..... pfft! Who wouldn't love that?

MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? I dunno
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? Now, yes
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Um... I don't care?
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? They make movies from everything now...
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? Scary Movies

FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? both
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese? Cheddar
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? For pete's sake, it's just cheese
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? I still eat hot dogs...
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? nope


COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC? PC
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works? A lot
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? I say more than I would talking to someone face to face
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? No, I will say more than I would though...
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? No...


THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? lmao Mandy... No
(42) What do you love most about the other gender? Everything, and nothing...
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender? I'll leave this alone
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender? ...

CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? no
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most? no
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Celebrities pay to not look like me :o
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? This is the most retarded thing I've ever read
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why? They're just fucking people...
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? ...
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich? No, I would like to be myself

NUMBERS
(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? no, it comes after 68 and before 70
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? ...what i want to know is how old the person who made this is
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? ask someone in the military that question, pfft... i have to write it down practically everyday
(55) Do you actually know your IP address? No, it's dynamic, but I can find out
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? I hope so
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? Yeah
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? 4?
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? no
(60) What do you think of pi? probably what most other people think of...


LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title? omg, yes, i can't take it anymore
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? That happens?
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"? ...My parents told me not to talk to strangers
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member? No, I would totally write off anyone with those names, just because I know someone else with the same name
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? Not really
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Whatever makes you happy..
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? wtf.
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? They find me so good-looking, they can't handle it, and never talk to me
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? It's just sex...
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence? Holy shit...this is aggravating


POSSESSIONS
(71) What is your favorite possession? My sanity.
(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most? a car that's not broken
(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'? nope
(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section? .


HOLIDAYS
(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? Yes
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? ....
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? I haven't worn a costume since i was 7
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? i don't remember
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? Holidays have meanings, I thought you just bought shit for other people cuz of them
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there? White History Month...

MEMORIES
(82) How good is your short-term memory? crappy
(83) How good is your long-term memory? perfect
(84) What is your earliest memory? busting my chin open on a houseboat
(85) What is your happiest memory? when things were normal... or at least when i thought they were normal
(86) What is your strangest memory? i dunno
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize? nothing

TEARS
(88) What movie makes/made you cry? none
(89) What book makes/made you cry? none
(90) What song makes/made you cry? Let it be - The Beatles
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried? random stuff...

THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS
(92) Would you like to be cloned? I wouldn't wish that for the world
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it? what the fuck?
(94) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? .

THIS SURVEY
(95) Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long? only if they don't suck like these did.... omg, what hair color would you like the most on a tuesday????
(96) Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting? no
(97) Are you sorry you began filling it out? i am now
(98) What question do you wish it had asked? .
(99) How would you have answered it? .


THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? ...that's a damn good question, i don't know, and i feel bad now :(
(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? Holy crap, what a waste of time... sorry if you read this bullshit

A girl died in 1933 by a homicide murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewared.



:D

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first
thought?


(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be!)


i stole this from candice's blog :D
i can't wait to see this
btw, work sucks

o. First name: Richy
o. Birthday: 03/12/84
o. Height: 5'8"
o. Hair color: Brown
o. Eye color: Hazel
o. Glasses: Yes, BUT NOT FOR LONG :D
o. Contacts: nope
o. Braces: nope
o. Hair short or long: military short
o. Where you were born: Cincinnati, OH
o. Where you now live: San Antonio, TX
o. Astrology sign: Pisces
o. Chinese zodiac sign: Rat
o. Nationality: Erm, German, Irish, and Welsh
o. Bad habits: Smoking
o. Piercing: none
o. Tattoos: none

ETC.
o. Are you still in school: yep
o. Current grade: i don't really know..
o. Favorite HS grade: None
o. Worst HS grade: All
o. Favorite HS teacher: The one my dad married :o
o. Worst HS teacher: My gov't teacher.. way too dry
o. Favorite HS subject: History
o. Worst HS subject: English
o. Buy or bring lunch: Buy
o. School sports: HAH!
o. School activities: band
o. Popular or what: nope, people threw shit at me
o. Worst memory: This would comprise several entries..

FAVORITE
o. Number: 42
o. Clothing brand: Anything that makes my size?
o. Shoes: Tennis
o. Saying: The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
o. Vegetable: carrots
o. Candy: gummy stuff rox, but candy is evil
o. Gum: none
o. Scent: um...axe?
o. Candy bar: chocolate disgusts me
o. Color: blue/red/green
o. Season: Summer
o. Holiday: I don't have one
o. Band: Bouncing Souls
o. Singer: ionno
o. Music: Anything now, i have no dislikes
o. Fast song: Bouncing Souls - Gone
o. Slow song: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
o. Thing in your room: just one? my bed... it's calling me
o. Place to be: Sleep
o. Radio station: no radio, unless i could hear bob and tom :\
o. TV channel: i don't watch tv
o. Junk food: ionno
o. Fast food place: ionno
o. Restaurant: i want a ribeye from ruby tuesday's *drool*
o. Shape: square... LIKE ME :)
o. Time of day: night... morning can kiss off unless i have coffee
o. Country: i heart the country
o. State: Texas > Indiana, but i don't have many other comparisons to make
o. Shampoo: I dunno, i can't see in the shower
o. Car: One that works
o. Swear word: ...
o. Month: March
o. Song: See fast and slow song... can't pick between right now

PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: I like how this is the only question... and no, never, i'm a hermit



HAVE YOU EVER
o. Flashed someone: not on purpose
o. Told the person you liked how you felt: i guess
o. Gone to jail/juvenile detention: close, but no
o. Skateboarded: yeah
o. Skinny dipped: nope
o. Stolen anything from a store: yeah
o. Kissed someone of the same sex: nope
o. Been to a concert: yes, so enjoyable
o. Been to another country: nope
o. Talked back to an adult: possibly
o. Given money to some homeless person: nope... i have no truck with that shit
o. Cried to get out of trouble: heh, no
o. Kissed a friend's sister: nope

THE LAST THING
o. You ate: popeye's
o. You drank: root beer
o. The last place you went: bobo's
o. Last thing you bought: dinner?
o. Last person you saw: bobo/kim/lundy/strock
o. Last song you heard: just listened to crash - dave matthews
o. Last person you talked to on the phone: mandy... i need to call her again
o. Last person you talked to on AIM: sana

o. Current Clothes: jeans/sweatshirt
o. Current Mood: f'in exhausted beyond my normal limits
o. Current Music: Beatles - Let it Be (song almost makes me cry)
o. Current Taste: nothing?
o. Current Hair: short
o. Current Make-up: none
o. Current Smell: nothing
o. Current Annoyance: being on-call
o. Current thing I should be doing: sleeping
o. Current Desktop Picture: it's just grayish-blue stuff
o. Current Favorite Show: tv? what the hell is tv?
o. Current Book: Need to start so many, but i have no time... i guess my CCNA book
o. Current Movie: None
o. Current Refreshment: Pepsi


I give this a 3/5

PAST
-first grade teacher's name: i don't remember
-last song you sang: Eve 6 - Bang
-last thing you laughed at: Bob for being a retard
-last time you cried: never (not a macho thing)

PRESENT.
-what's in your CD player: Eve 6
-what color socks are you wearing: White
-what's under your bed: Nothing
-what time did you wake up today: 5:30AM
.FUTURE.
-what is your career going to be: Probably Information Systems Management
-where are you going to live: Wherever I end up
-how many kids do you want: I dunno
-what kind of car will you drive: Something nice
.CURRENT.
-current hair: brown and military
-current clothes: PT stuff, waiting on my laundry
-current jewelry: none
-current annoyance: none
-current smell: stuffy nose

-current longing: too many to list
-current desktop picture: some weird greyish blue thing with numbers on it
-current book: working on starting the second book in the dune series
-current worry: PRK
-current hate: none
-story behind your username: my theme song from like 6 years ago, i spose it still applies
-current favorite article of clothes: i like everything i have, otherwise i doubt i would've spent the money on it
-favorite physical feature on a guy: ...
-line from the last thing you wrote to someone: telling mandy i was stealing this from her blog
-i am happiest when: i feel like being happy
-i feel lonelely: probably more than is good for me
-favorite authors: I'm easy, unless it's transcendental then it can BURN!
-do you think too much: who doesn't
-if you could live anywhere in the world, where: new zealand and canadia
-famous person you have met: i don' know anyone famous
-do you have any regrets: yeah
-sex or love: meh, love i guess, but it's mostly bullshit
-favorite coffee: iced
-favorite smell: i dunno
-what makes you mad: i won't discuss because i'll get mad
-favorite way to waste time: video games, the new american pasttime
-any bad habits: smoking...
-do you find it hard to trust people: i say no, but i'm not so sure anymore
-last thing you bought yourself: besides lunch? a nice watch
-bath or shower: shower, seeing as i don't have a bathtub
-favorite season: summer, gimme all the heat you got
-favorite color: blue/green/red, dependent on my mood
-favorite time of day: evening
-gold or silver: silver
.FASHION.
-how many coats and jackets do you own: not counting uniform items, 3 and a winter coat i'm going to throw away
-do you wear a watch: only the best damn watch ever
-favorite pants color: blue
-most expensive item of clothing: that i own? everything i get is under 30 bucks
-most treasured: it was my kangol, but i lost it, so i guess i didn't treasure it too much
.YOUR FRIENDS.
-do your friends know you: some
-what do they tend to be like: supportive
-can you count on them: 3 of them, through thick and thin
-can they count on you: i only have 10 fingers, but yeah :)
.LAST.
-last book you read: CCNA basics :\, how geeky is that
-last movie you saw: watched ima git you sucka last night (it's freakin awesome)
-last movie you saw on the big screen: i think it was the third matrix, but i may be mistaken
-last show you watched on TV: TV? it's been at least 3 weeks since i've seen an entire program
-last song you heard: Nonpoint - Rabia (This song is badass)
-last thing you had to drink: DP
-last thing you ate: some fruit snacks at work for lunch
-last time you showered: this morning?

-last time you smiled: when rachel called me and said she was gonna be in austin :D
-last time you laughed: at work sometime
-last person you hugged: :( rachel and andrea, June 2004
-last person you talked to online: Sana
-last person you talked to on the phone: Sana
.DO YOU.
-smoke: yeap
-drink: 5 weeks biotch!
-sleep with stuffed animals: nope
-have a dream that keeps coming back: nope, never remeber them
-play an instrument: i used to, going to start when i don't live in packed housing
-believe there is life on other planets: why not
-read the newspaper: yeap
-have any gay or lesbian friends: i'm sure i do, but you know what they say, don't ask, don't tell...
-believe in miracles: yes
-consider yourself tolerant: extremely, probably a little too tolerant
-consider police a friend or foe: indifferent, i leave them alone, they leave me alone
-like the taste of alcohol: i'll find out!
-have a favorite stooge: probably
-believe in astrology: only as a lark
-believe in magic: in a young girl's heart How the music can free her, whenever it starts And it's magic, if the music is groovy It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll... :D
-pray: yes
-go to church: nope
-have any secrets: everyone has something they don't tell anyone
-have any pets: i want a kitty :(
-go or plan to attend college: going off and on now
-talk to strangers: i do, but if they offer candy, i run away
-have any piercings: got enough holes in my body thx
-have any tattoos: i have a pen if i want to have a picture on me
-hate yourself: no, but that would suck
-wish on stars: everytime
-like your handwriting: hah, when i can read it
-believe in witches: nope
-believe in ghosts: nope
-have a second family: i did, some families have adopted me since then
-sing in the shower: 30 people could hear me, so i whistle the oscar meyer weiner song :D

that was fun
i need to get my stuff out of the dryer
i have updates on stuff, but that's for another day

Wow, so I can't remember the last time I updated this thing, and I'm too lazy to check before i post. Sadly enough, the last 3 weeks have consisted of nothing but work and video games... I'm back to being a geek for the time being, only this time, it comprises all of my time. I feel almost like a turtle. For a while, I poked my head out and was soaking up the scenery and enjoying life. Then along comes a video games and pokes me with a stick, and I disappear back in my shell until I think it's safe. Except that I know it's safe, but I have cable in my shell and I don't want to come out because its "cold" outside. I have 6 weeks left until I hit my 21st birthday, and I suppose I'm relatively excited about it. I just really want a beer now...
Work is going well for me. I overslept twice, but I'm trying to ensure that doesn't happen again. Well, if my calculations are correct, it's long past due for me to be asleep to wake up on time, so I guess I'm not doing everything I can to not oversleep. I suspect I've broken most of the grammatical rules out there with this post, but dammit, it's my blog.